Better Than Caffeine


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Katie Gill is 30. 32-24-35. American actress.

Secret Diary of an American Cheerleader, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The League

She started modeling at the age of 15 and moved to Osaka, Japan at age 18 to work for various commercial and print agencies. Daughter of actress Morgan Brittany (from the TV show "Dallas" 1978).

"Anger, tears and sadness are only for those who have given up." 


How Spieth Compares Against The Greats At Age 22


Jordan Spieth
turned 22 yesterday. He's accomplished much in his short time on Tour. 

Here (via is a comparison with the other greats at age 22.

77 PGA Tour starts
5 victories (2 major championships)
29 Top 10 finishes
13 missed cuts
$17.3 million in earnings

32 PGA Tour starts
1 victory (0 major championships)
1 Euro Tour victory
9 Top 10 finishes
5 missed PGA Tour cuts
$3.7 million in earnings

43 PGA Tour starts
6 victories (1 major championship)
14 Top 10 finishes
9 missed cuts (2 as a pro)
$2.8 million

Less than 25 PGA Tour starts
0 victories
3 missed cuts
Had turned pro for just 2 months

Spieth also received a novel birthday gift from chief endorser Under Armour. Delivered were baskets of balls each with a birthday wish from fans from around the globe. 

Pretty cool.



Mystery Pooper Targeting Norwegian Golf Course


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Remember when Sergio Garcia was rightfully hammered for spitting into a golf hole?

Well, he's got nothing on this nut.

Here's your crappy golf story for the week

Kenneth Tennfjord, groundskeeper at the Stavanger Golf Club, said he has been finding human feces and toilet paper in course holes since 2005.

Since 2005?!?! What, no stakeout?

"He has a couple of favorite holes," Tennfjord told the Rogaland Avis newspaper. "And we know it is a man because the poos are too massive to be from a woman."

That's some insightful detective work. 

"He poos only on weekdays. On weekends I have never found poo on the golf course," Tennfjord said. He said the fecal discoveries are usually accompanied by used toilet paper.

Steinar Floisvik, managing director of the club, said the mystery pooper used to arrive via bicycle.

"In the early morning dew we observed bicycle tracks on the course. Footsteps showed that he had done his business, and the bicycle tracks disappeared back the way they came," Floisvik said.

Yeah, he's a bona fide nut. But the culprit does apparently have good aim.

After 10 years(!), the anus is firmly on the course to nab the Poop Bandit. 


Steve Elkington Spouts Off In Interview


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Aussie Steve Elkington owns one of the more envied silky golf swings. He also speaks his mind on Twitter with varying degrees of success. 

In an interview with, Elk talks about his thoughts on current Tour players and the ongoing Twitter backlash. 

Do you find that the PGA Tour lacks characters?

It's hard for a lot of those guys to be themselves. I never acted this way when I was playing the Tour. It was more stressful, because you're trying to raise a family, you're trying to build a house, you're trying to pay the mortgage. I know this: Some of the revered people in this game, if they were around today, [the media] would kill them. Sam Snead used to tell off-color jokes at the Ryder Cup dinner at the Waldorf Astoria. How's that going to fly nowadays? Today's players, if they say too much they get hammered. If they don't say enough, they get hammered.

Not every player is wired for world domination. Boo Weekley has said he just wants to bank enough money to spend his days fishing.

There's a lot of pressure on those guys. A lot of the guys on Tour want to think about winning, but it's really hard for them to push through that window and put themselves out in the open. And that's the separator, right? The guy who likes being out in the open the most is someone like Phil. He doesn't care if he shoots 90 on Sunday, he's still going for the title. And then there are guys who are more comfortable just jockeying, staying just behind the heat, and they may come in at the end and steal it. But hardly anyone wants to stick their nose way out in front anymore. That's a lonely place.

Is it harder to win today than it was in your heyday?

No. It's the easiest it's ever been to win on Tour. No one closes. They all peel off at the end.

You've come under fire for some of your remarks on Twitter. Do you regret any of the tweets?

I don't know. You can't win either way. Everyone wants to keep picking on me about Twitter, but they don't want to pick on other people. They don't want to pick on Kelly Tilghman, about what she said about Tiger. [Note: In 2008, Tilghman said during a Golf Channel telecast that young players who wanted to challenge Woods should "lynch him in a back alley."] They don't keep picking on Tripp Isen-hour because he killed an eagle. [Note: Isenhour killed a hawk with a golf ball in 2007.] But they want to keep picking on me for something that I got fined for and suspended. I've served my sentence.

If you had been able to win one more major, you'd be a Hall of Fame candidate. Would you like to be in the discussion?

It's okay. Jack, Arnold, Gary and Lee—they're the real Hall of Famers. Mark O'Meara and David Graham, they played Hall of Fame–type golf in their era, but they're not in the same class as Jack Nicklaus. People said, "Hey, Freddie Couples shouldn't be in the Hall of Fame." But he was Hall of Fame [worthy] in his era. I held my own in my era for a decade. I earned the right to say that I was one of the best players that played in the ′90s. And that's all right.


Better Than Caffeine



Helen Owen. 32-34-24. British model. 

The UCLA grad is putting an absolute beatdown on Instagram, and with over 180K followers.

We can see why. 


Did U.S. Junior Am Golfer Miss Chance To Take Holly Sonders To Prom?


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Andrew Orischak
 was sitting pretty in his U.S. Junior Am final against Philip Barbaree, leading 5-up with only eight holes to play. Alas, Barbaree rallied with a stunning performance to beat Orischak one-up in a playoff. 

What's worse, Andrew's dad had set up a deal with Holly Sonders to go to the prom next year with his 16-year-old son if he captured the crown

Orischak admitted when he went 5-up, he was thinking ahead.

"That was probably my biggest downfall," Orischak said. "I was playing very solid golf. The whole week I told myself I was just going to hit one shot at a time. I was thinking about winning before the match was over."

It also could've been the opportunity to have the 28-year-old Sonders on his arm at the prom next year. Golf is tough enough without 16-year-old hormones running rampant.  

However, Sonders admirably agreed to go anyway. Nice consolation prize. 


Allenby's Ex-Caddie Believes Golfer Fell Over And Someone Picked Up His Wallet



Robert Allenby's recently fired caddie (or did the caddie fire his boss?) Mo Middlemo fessed up in an interview that this is the correct story--and not what Allenby told him to say

Middlemo now says he believes Allenby simply fell over and injured his face after drinking too much wine and tequila and not eating enough food.

"Do I think he got mugged and bashed and absolutely robbed? No I don't. That's the story I told because that's the story he told me to tell because I wasn't there," Middlemo told News Corp Australia.

"Do I think he just fell over and cracked his head? Honestly I do … I think he fell over and someone picked up his wallet and had a great time with his credit card."

And, another caddie, Simon Clarke, an Australian who was looping for another player in the group who said he has known fellow Aussie Allenby for more than two decades, told Reuters, “I wouldn’t be talking about it if he [Allenby] didn’t tell the media afterwards a whole lot of porky pies [Australian slang for lies]."

“I’ve known Rob for a long time and I’ve known Mick for a long time," Clarke said. "It’s disappointing that at age 42, or however old he [Allenby] is, he’s still treating people that way and how many good caddies he’s gone through.

"It’s sad that he speaks to the guys this way and doesn’t wait until after the round. It’s disappointing that he’s up to his old tricks.”

Call me not surprised. 

One thing is a certainty. Robert Allenby is one sorry human being. 


Day Overcomes Open Anguish To Take Canadian Open


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Aussie Jason Day missed out on the British Open playoff by one shot when his birdie attempt on the 72nd hole was short. It was the 8th time since 2010 he has finished in the top-5 in a major without winning. 

Yet, after arriving a day late due to the Monday Open finish, he had three straight birdies on Sunday to take the RBC Canadian Open, including sinking roughly the same distance putt for birdie on 18. 

“I got the ball to the hole this time,” he said.

The multi-winner in 2015 has finished in the top 10 in seven of 14 events this season--and in the top five six times.

Canadian David Hearn took a two-shot lead into the final round and started with two birdies but gave them back with two bogeys. He was attempting to be the first Canadian to win it's country's national championship in 61-years

"I obviously had a wide range of emotions today," Hearn said. "I got off to a great start, and in the middle of the round, I just struggled a bit with hitting the quality shots I had been hitting all week."

"It’s hard to win any tournament on the PGA Tour," he said. "For me, I’m getting a lot better and I’m closer to doing that. I’ve been real close a couple times this month. Hopefully I’ll break through soon. I would have loved to have done it in front of everybody and made everybody proud, but I’m sure everybody is still proud, and I certainly am. I’m proud of the way I played."


Better Than Caffeine



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Kate Beckinsale
 turns the big 42 tomorrow. 34-24-35. British actress.

Underworld, The Aviator, Pearl Harbor, Van Helsing

Father Richard Beckinsale was a popular British comedic TV actor before passing away at age 31. After tumultuous adolescence (a bout of anorexia - cured - and a smoking habit which continues to this day), she gradually took up acting.

Studied French, German and Russian literature while a student at Oxford. Ranked #3 in the 2010 Ask Men list of the top 99 "most desirable" women.

"If someone had told me years ago that sharing a sense of humour was so vital to partnerships, I could have avoided a lot of sex!"

Enjoy the weekend.


Robert Allenby Request Police Escort After Firing Caddie



Aussie Tour pro Robert Allenby was once again in the news. Not for any great golf prowess, but for yet another curious incident.

Yesterday, Allenby got into a tiff with caddie Mick Middlemo over iron selection at the RBC Canadian Open.  

After incurring a penalty stroke off the tee on the par-5 13th, his fourth hole of the day, Allenby had just over 150 yards in for his fourth shot. His caddie Mick Middlemo, new on the bag this year, called for an eight-iron, while Allenby wanted to hit seven. Middlemo insisted and Allenby’s shot caught a gust of wind and ended up in the creek that fronts the green. He took a triple-bogey eight on the hole en route to a front-nine 43. The fireworks, however, started right then and there.

“I said to him, ‘You know this happens every week. This has happened for like the last three or four or five months. We keep making bad mistakes and you’re not helping me in these circumstances,’” Allenby said after his round of 81. “And he just lost the plot at me. He just told me I could go eff myself. And I said, ‘Look, you need to slow down. I mean just calm down.’ And then he just got right in my face as if he wanted to just beat me up. I said, ‘Stop being a such and such and calm down and get back into the game.’ And he just got even closer and closer and I just said, ‘That’s it, you’re sacked.” I said, ‘I will never have you caddie ever again.’ And we never spoke for the rest of the (first nine) and when we got to 18 we walked off and he said some smartass remark to me and I said, ‘You don’t deserve to be caddying out there.’ And he just got right in my face and threatened me so I said, ‘Go.’ So he left.”

Caddie Middlemo had a different version.

Middlemo told that it was Allenby who went on a profane rant, telling the caddie, “I’m so sick of this fu——- bu——— you c—-.”

“I said, ‘Look, if you want someone to abuse, get someone out of the parking lot,’” Middlemo said. “And then he said it to me again and I said, ‘I dare you to call me a c—- again.’ That was it.”

“He said, ‘I’m going to get a caddie banned for life on this Tour.’ And I asked if it was me and he said, ‘Yes.’ That was it,” he said.

“He was 20 yards ahead of me and I put the bag down and got my stuff and hung my bib on the bag and then I walked away and went home.”

“It’s the worst I’ve ever heard. But it’s not like I’m the first guy this has happened to with him. I’m the fourth caddie to walk off the golf course with him.”

Allenby, who withdrew from the tournament after carding an 11-over 81, requested a security escort when leaving the course because he claimed Middlemo had threatened to wait for him in the parking lot. 

The mess turned out to be a dream for Tom Fraser, a 61-year-old school principal who noted Allenby carrying his own bag and volunteered to help. Allenby said why not, and Fraser caddied for the final nine holes. He called it “the experience of a lifetime.”

This lead to a funny line by Steve Elkington on Twitter: 


Allenby has made only 7 cuts in 22 events.

One has to think Bubba Watson must be one heck of a jerk to easily beat Allenby in a recent poll of Tour players when asked who's the most disliked player on Tour. His 23% easily beat Allenby's 9%. 

Playing with those two would have to feel like being summoned to golf hell. 


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